When I woke up on November 8, 2021, I was on the verge of starting to tell my team that I planned to leave at the end of January to pursue my passion for coaching, reset my life, and reclaim my time and energy.
Then an unexpected email arrived.
A fellow coach at the company who had been piloting an internal coaching program told me they had finally received headcount to add another coach for a one-year rotation. It was theoretically perfect for me. I could stay at the company and coach. I’d be honing my craft with more clients than I could probably hope to find on my own, I’d continue to have financial stability, and I’d have more access to resources for continued development and learning.
I hadn’t actually told anyone yet I would be leaving, so the opportunity had come through just in time, I thought. I should be leaping to apply for the position. I should be elated.
And yet, I noticed that it felt draining to even consider the possibility.
I took the kids to school and then came back home to start my work day, feeling unsettled.
Another unexpected email arrived, this time from a fellow Hudson coach who shared an opportunity to be part of an external group of coaches. I was aware of a feeling of instant excitement bubbling up.
There’s your answer, I heard. I remember feeling grateful to the universe for what felt like a pop quiz with no “correct” answer, except my own. In that moment, I realized that I was I recommitting myself to my original commitment to leave.
It seems crazy and a little unfair that it is often so hard for us to answer the simple question, What do I want? It’s all too easy to fall into an internal vortex of conflicting opinions, interminable risk-reward analyses, and unwinnable debate between different parts who love to disagree on what’s “good” for us.
When that happens, look for the next pop quiz. (It’s bound to be around the corner.)
Notice your response.
If your response feels muddy, take some time to get still and let the mud settle. Try noticing again.
And hear the universe say, There’s your answer. You’re welcome.